Tuesday, August 20, 2013

I'm an Introvert.

This is hardly news to me, but with all the “You might be an introvert if…” articles circulating FB right now, it’s more obvious now than ever.

And I’m actually kinda grateful for those articles.

I go to a spectacular church. But like any organization that serves multiple hundreds of people, you can’t please everyone. My church is hyper concerned (NOT a bad thing) with relationships, but this line of instruction makes no allowance for people who can’t handle more than a handful of people.

The thought of church-wide picnics, even outdoors with no walls to confine you, fills me with dread. Zumba doesn’t require interaction, so the crowd doesn’t matter if it’s not too bad, but as fun as contra-dance is, it’s hard to psych myself into going because you have to be face to face with so many people. I love going out all by myself – coffee shops, hiking trails, pool halls – no conversation required.

Suddenly it makes sense why I like “boring” jobs – introverts don’t do as well with being overstimulated. I’m not alone in feeling trapped if I don’t have an escape route when in a group. I’m not snooty for thinking small talk is a ridiculous waste of time. It’s normal for introverts to have just a few friends, and not want to be around them all the time… but to feel terribly lonely if they don’t have some best friend to share thoughts with. If I can be alone with one to three people, I’m great. But once a fourth person tags along, I’m retreating and would rather just stay home, thanks.

And here I am, writing. Another typical characteristic. If I can send you text rather than talk to you, please, oh please, may I? It’s not because I don’t like you, but rather because I DO. It’s because I HAVE something to say, which means I think it’s important, so I want to say it well! And writing lets me be analytical and thoughtful and say things the way I mean them.

I may expound on this later, but it’s time to go. I’m going to spend a few hours with a friend, her baby, and her baby-on-the-way. Good thing the husband will be home late, or else there’d be too many people in the room. ;)

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