Monday, May 5, 2008

Jessica loves springtime.

no, unfortunately this is not my artwork. i wish....

in midnights, in cups of coffee...

It seems it's May the fifth,
Eastern Standard Time.
I can't believe another year went by so fast....

wait... what's an elephant doing here?

Sunday, May 4, 2008

what about Xanga?

I can see all posts at once, private and public
fluctuating screen size
font size (my beef with this is complicated. just trust me.)
header format
2 ways to subscribe
the post is visible in the same window when you comment
picture upload

it's hard to make it as pretty (but that's probably only because I haven't started using Xanga Themes yet...)
blog archive feature is real nice to have
automatic save (Xanga only has a manual feature that will let you save without posting and if you lose the page suddenly, you will have lost whatever you didn't save... and it will be posted prematurely. so... if this happens a lot, set it to private until you're ready to post. big deal.)
RSS feed for the comments

stuff I thought I'd like better about Blogger:
"only sign in once to get to my e-mail, RSS, and blog." well, they've taken the blogger link off of the Google links header. plus Xanga is letting me stay signed in even when I open a new window (they didn't used to) and I only have to click once to get to my home page. Blogger requires two clicks (or three, plus search and error time, if you're trying to get there just with the Google links). I mean, big deal right? but it's frustrating to me somehow.
"easy side page elements." not any easier than it is to enter the html in the Xanga Look and Feel box. plus Xanga has that same feature, again, in the Themes department that I haven't gotten into yet.
"attractive format." sure, but I can't tweak it without a technological pick and shovel. Xanga lets me in on the action and I can change the look in subtle ways as per my preference.
"RSS feed." yeah, Xanga's got that too, now.

I think it just depends on the user's individual needs and preferences. Personally, I'm thinkin' Xanga.

Saturday, May 3, 2008

addendum to: previous

This is mostly for my benefit, to remind myself of what is true and right.

There's more to it than trusting that insomnia will be good for me one day. I know that, but I don't often remember it when I need to. It's not just that I will be able to look back on my life and say, "Yeah, I can see how that lesson taught me this and that in the long run," but the suffering of it can and should be good for me NOW. As long as I am willing to view it in such a light, it is a way to learn to depend on and trust God because... I have nothing left. I CANNOT keep going in my own strength. But "I can do all things through Christ." I choose, by my reaction, to make it a source of grumbling, an attempt at self-reliance that leaves me dead to the world, or this freeing slavery to His will that is Good.

More often than not, I'm somewhere in the middle, still allowing myself to be weighed down by the depression that inevitably follows the third or fourth (or first...) sleepless night but not enough to be totally destroyed by it. Or I DO remember the truth, but only in these moments before another attempt at rest, only to be forgotten in my whining that it's time to get up and I haven't had enough sleep to get me through the day.

Last night's sleep was possibly the best I've had in the last 11 days. I'm grateful for that. And now I'm going to go try for another one! :-P

Friday, May 2, 2008

a "windows wide open" day

It was a beautiful day today, if the sunset has anything to say about it. There's just enough of a breeze to bring the cool air and scents of spring (I thank God every day that I don't have allergies. Please may it always be so?) through my wide open bedroom windows.

I long to relax enough to enjoy it. I've been learning about fear in my head and in my heart, and God has been so good to usher me through this lesson... but somehow my muscles have yet to catch up. They seem terrified that if they relax, it WILL mean the end of the world.

Currently trying My Job in the case of Reinicke vs. Insomnia. I fear it may be the culprit.

I want to rest. God knows I need it; I thought I was going to collapse several times today. I pray, beg, and plead, but it seems I have nothing to do but trust that this season will "be good for me" one day....

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Hey, look!

David and Andrea have a new baby too! :-D This is Alexi Edmund: