Sunday, September 8, 2013

Dr. Seuss vs. Eat Pray Love. FIGHT.

There are many ways to lose someone.

They can die. They can move away. You can lose them to an argument. You can lose them to a breakup. Sometimes you lose them so gradually you barely feel it; sometimes you choke on your own sobs, thinking, "How did we drift so far so quickly?"

Everyone's lost someone, so I'm sure you've heard the saying:


It's cute or quaint or something, but it's never been any practical help to me. Probably because whether you're concentrating on being happy or being sad about it, you're still CONCENTRATING ON IT. And even the happy memories can cut deep when you're missing someone.

I watched Eat Pray Love again recently - it had been a while. I had forgotten about all the brilliant nuggets it has. I'll have to go back later and make a quote sheet or something, but I think they hit in on the head when it comes to this subject.

"I still love you."
"So love me."
"I miss you."
"So miss me. Send me love and light every time you think of me... then drop it."

Okay, so it's not a profoundly Christian movie. But bear with me.

There are times when pain blindsides you and there's nothing you can do but let it run its course. But a lot of times, the memories creep up on us slowly and there's a point where we have to decide what we're going to do with them. I think what I often end up doing is crying my heart out till I'm too dead to care, rinse and repeat as necessary. Because it's like, you can either remember and let it hurt until it doesn't hurt any more, or block the memories until you don't have to block them any more, neither of which sound particularly good for your mental health.

But the idea in Eat Pray Love takes "Don't cry because it's over" to the next level. It tells you what to DO with that. It gives you a practical "Here's how." Feel the love you have for that person. Feelings are okay. But instead of turning it into shame or regret or angst, direct it to them. Call it prayer, call it positive intention, call it voodoo, call it what you will, but I feel certain you know what I'm talking about. Don't be wrapped up in the good or the bad of what was. Be present in this moment, offer a prayer or a thought or a feeling of love/joy/light/peace for that person. And then let the moment go.

And maybe, just maybe, you might just find that you CAN "smile because it happened."

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Church: Disorganized

Church, generally defined, is a gathering of Christ followers. No need for a building. No need for music. No need for a sermon. Just people of common faith who get together for the glory of God. And everything we do is supposed to be to the glory of God, right?

So church can be 350 people in a building on Sunday just as much as it can be a “small group” on Wednesday or two people drinking coffee or a few folks visiting the movie theater or a handful of tree huggers on a hiking trail.

I live in Upstate, SC, where there’s a church for every spiritual walk you can fathom on nearly every street. We don’t need any new churches, as Webster defines them: a building for public and especially Christian worship....

What I DO want is to see a church that gets a little more disorganized.

I want to see a church that focuses on *doing stuff together,* more than is usually possible at the 10 AM – 12 PM weekly meeting, which tends to revolve around most of the individuals facing a few individuals for 75% of the time, with small pockets of interactive time spent largely on small talk. I believe that this ritual is invaluable to most Christians, but I also think most Christians need something more.

I’m 30 and single. There’s nothing at all wrong with that, but it has become increasingly difficult to make friends my age who don’t have the concerns that come with spouses and children and laundry and diapers and little growling tummies as they try to schedule time for friends into their world. So it’s just me. I’m not a church. I am a Christ follower who needs a friend or few to create a legitimate “gathering.” Personally, I’m often very happy doing things all by myself, but some things just go better with friends… and I don’t always know who to call. And I have a feeling I’m not alone. That’s why I created this page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/502707713144508/

I’ll be posting activity ideas here.  I hope you will too! I’m thinking hiking Paris Mountain, playing pool at Barley’s, Artisphere, maybe just cook dinner and watch a movie with a few folks. Something simple, something fun, but real. Real life, real discussion, real YOU wellness, with a couple of folks who are running your same race – chasing after Christ.

So. Wanna do church?