I think this had a lot to do with why I was having such a hard time. I know it's cliche and it's not Christian and it's not resting in God... but that's where I was. I was feeling so alone - in my battles at work, in concerns about my car, in my faith that seems to estrange me from the body of Christ rather than bind me to it, in friendships that fizzled....It wasn't like I was upset at God or felt like He was picking on me. But for some reason, my heart was not in such a place that His love evidenced in an act 2000 years ago and in His mercy evident every day of my life was enough to make me feel connected to anything. And maybe that's what He meant when He said it's not good for us to be alone, though I'm fully aware that it's what we need at times for a time.
Times like this, the hurt is graffitied all over my face and everyone wants to give me a hug. Yet somehow it doesn't help, even though I desperately want one. Sometimes it has to be from someone special... someone who has already earned your trust - not through compassionate-but-ignorant sympathy hugs but by actually walking down your road with you, chasing after you when necessary, listening and holding you when you couldn't even stand.
Married people, when the relationship is good, have this built in. You have someone to go home to who HAS been walking with you for a while. You have someone safe to turn to. Singles don't have that unless they've cultivated something similar in the form of a friendship. Maybe most are able to do that better than I. I don't know. But I do know that sometimes God reaches down to touch a tear-stained face and says, "You need a companion." Sometimes all you need is one, even just for one day, and you can face the world again.
1 comment:
I think "Trusting God" and "feeling alone" can comfortably coexist. Trusting in the midst is the essence of faith. Without the challenge, where would faith find its substance?
I love you.
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