Sunday, September 8, 2013

Dr. Seuss vs. Eat Pray Love. FIGHT.

There are many ways to lose someone.

They can die. They can move away. You can lose them to an argument. You can lose them to a breakup. Sometimes you lose them so gradually you barely feel it; sometimes you choke on your own sobs, thinking, "How did we drift so far so quickly?"

Everyone's lost someone, so I'm sure you've heard the saying:

It's cute or quaint or something, but it's never been any practical help to me. Probably because whether you're concentrating on being happy or being sad about it, you're still CONCENTRATING ON IT. And even the happy memories can cut deep when you're missing someone.

I watched Eat Pray Love again recently - it had been a while. I had forgotten about all the brilliant nuggets it has. I'll have to go back later and make a quote sheet or something, but I think they hit in on the head when it comes to this subject.

"I still love you."
"So love me."
"I miss you."
"So miss me. Send me love and light every time you think of me... then drop it."

Okay, so it's not a profoundly Christian movie. But bear with me.

There are times when pain blindsides you and there's nothing you can do but let it run its course. But a lot of times, the memories creep up on us slowly and there's a point where we have to decide what we're going to do with them. I think what I often end up doing is crying my heart out till I'm too dead to care, rinse and repeat as necessary. Because it's like, you can either remember and let it hurt until it doesn't hurt any more, or block the memories until you don't have to block them any more, neither of which sound particularly good for your mental health.

But the idea in Eat Pray Love takes "Don't cry because it's over" to the next level. It tells you what to DO with that. It gives you a practical "Here's how." Feel the love you have for that person. Feelings are okay. But instead of turning it into shame or regret or angst, direct it to them. Call it prayer, call it positive intention, call it voodoo, call it what you will, but I feel certain you know what I'm talking about. Don't be wrapped up in the good or the bad of what was. Be present in this moment, offer a prayer or a thought or a feeling of love/joy/light/peace for that person. And then let the moment go.

And maybe, just maybe, you might just find that you CAN "smile because it happened."

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