Thursday, October 18, 2007

jealousy

"You have to make him jealous. Don't let him think he can keep you without trying!"

I propose that this is a horrible way of thinking. "Hey, I went out for coffee with so-and-so."
"I spent the evening with what's-her-face yesterday." "Don't you wish I'd been out with you?" Wha?! But...! *sputters* No. That's just begging for attention; another form of desperation. "Your lack of (commitment/attention) makes me feel devalued so let me try to make you think that you're going to lose me over it." Who are you fooling? If you really wanted to lose the guy, why bother telling him about what you did while he wasn't there? Just tell him to leave. No, you're afraid you're losing him and you want to see if he'll still fight for you.

It's selfish, lying to a person you care about, telling them you don't trust them, and throwing in a little bit of "you're a failure at making me happy" on the side for good measure.

No. I had someone suggest this line of behavior to me recently, but it just doesn't hold water for me. It might seem appealing on the surface - the chance to get a little attention - but it's so awful underneath; why bother with it? If he's going to leave you, you're not going to stop him by criticizing him and begging for attention. And if the thought had never crossed his mind... be careful cuz that behavior might just put ideas in his head.

It all depends on where your heart is, of course. I'm not going to say I don't turn a little green when the man of my dreams tells me how he spent last night, but there's no need to presume he's trying to do anything but tell me... how he spent last night. Communication is good! I'm just sayin'... don't abuse with it.

Does anyone feel me on this?

2 comments:

Rina said...

I totally agree with you. Quite frankly, I don't see why a guy would want to be with someone who is trying to manipulate him to stay. Manipulative people make life very difficult. Belive me, I have had way too much experience. I miss you.

nic pfost said...

i agree too.

there are a few of us that see right through that crap anyway, and then where are you?