Sunday, October 21, 2007

take my word for it?

What decides your motives? If I help a little old lady across the street, you might think me noble. But I might only have done it because I knew my crush was watching. But if you know that I know, you might think me merely trying to look good (hardly a noble cause).

So if I help the old lady because it's the right thing to do but realize my crush is watching and wonder what he's thinking... does that change what my motive was? I was going to do it anyway, right? But if you approach me later and say, "That was a cheap trick you pulled, trying to impress him!" I might believe your accusation of my motive, since it DID cross my mind....

Such is the plight of one who thinks too much, lol.

But at the same time... it's really no laughing matter. It's all too easy for me to get caught up in this - this claiming guilt that is unjustly placed. I was faced with it again today, though in an entirely different light. I must say, for someone who's no longer depressed, I've been suddenly bursting into tears a lot lately, heh.

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