Sunday, February 22, 2009

Not better. Or wrong. Just different.

[disclaimer: work in progress. I just hope this is an encouragement to someone... otherwise I'd have kept it private.]

How come there aren't any other kinds of songs? I mean, you have worship songs. And you have a few family/friendship songs. And you have love songs. Lots and LOTS of love songs.

Why doesn't anyone write songs about other things they love? Like reading. Or eating a perfect steak. Or making art. Or teaching. Or helping people get better from illnesses. Or fixing the final glitch in a new invention. Or buying sheuss. (okay, okay, ONE song about sheuss. but it's not serious!) Or drugs. (wait. there probably are a few of those too. n/m)

Think about it. If you're in love, do any of your other interests (spiritual excluded) even come close? Do you feel as passionately about your artistic outlet as you do for your family? If you've been heartbroken, can any other pain compare?

You can't "hobby" yourself out of love. You can numb yourself so hard that you get by tolerably well, but nothing seems right. Hobbies are wonderful things. I believe it's essential to find and pursue activities that you passionately enjoy just in the doing, whether that be a certain job or a certain study or just a walk in the park. But I think the reason you don't hear any serious songs about anything other than relationships might be because we don't care about anything quite so much as we do about our interactions with others. No doubt, inserting that in our make-up was an intentional act by God, as a means to draw our attention back to Him.

And I? I find that I've unwittingly developed a mentality that since I cannot foster a romantic love and find my regular friendships lacking, my next step is simply to develop a passion for something else. But just as friendships could never replace an eros love, and all human relationships disappoint when compared to loving God, so does love of activities fall far short of the satisfaction of love for another. I've been searching for an interest that will surpass my passion for the unattainable, and it's simply impossible. Apples and oranges, my friend. It's as discouraging as expecting a paper airplane to fly as well as a 747. There's every reason to pursue activities that make us happy (within reason) but you'll never match the pleasure that comes from reconciliation after a miscommunication with a friend... by drawing a pretty picture.

I'm in a rut as far as knowing what my next step should be regarding my pursuit of God, even though I know that it's only that relationship that surpasses interests and passions and romance. But it's surprisingly freeing to have made this realization tonight - that the stuff at the bottom of the chain will never be better than the stuff in the middle, as the stuff in the middle would never surpass the One at the top. So I can stop being frustrated that my best efforts don't suffice. I can stop expecting too much of them - expecting them to replace something else - and pursue them as entirely other from the first, simply for their own good.

And... I guess ask God to show me how He's pursuing me, because I'm having trouble finding new ways of pursuing Him.

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