Monday, February 23, 2009

When I say A, what I mean is B.

Girls are stupid. Boys, I offer my profound apologies. I've taken this entry to explain the inner workings of this stupid girl's words. I think some of my answers may not be typical, but at least you'll know ME better, right? ^_^ And it's long, so I've included the questions here at the top (with links to my answers) for your previewing pleasure: Does this look okay? I don't care. That's okay. Here, let me pet you. Did you read my latest blog entry? I'm okay. I'm sad. I'm depressed. I just don't feel very well. Will you do me a favor?

A. Does this look okay?
B. This outfit might not be very flattering, but I need a second opinion. Will you please save me from the humiliation of buying/wearing something awful by telling me IT LOOKS AWFUL?
note: I never did get into asking "Does this make me look fat?" I was always too afraid of people thinking I was obsessed about my weight. Also, there's no nice way to answer it in the negative, which wouldn't be very nice of ME. I don't want to hear that I look fat, so I won't ask a question that forces a person to answer me that way. "It looks awful!!" will suffice.

A. I don't care. (what movie we watch or where we eat or etc.)
B. I don't care. I have no preference. I would like you to make a suggestion and I will say "Let's go!" unless I just really think it would be unwise to watch it or I really hate that kind of food. Wait. I don't hate ANY kind of food. -_-

A. That's okay. (in regard to a question about my opinion of a suggestion)
B. I may or may not have had something else in mind specifically, but what you've suggested is fine. (I promise, I won't judge you for not reading my mind. That's just silly.) I may follow this answer with a suggestion of my own. If you don't like my suggestion, or just really would prefer yours, "That's okay." Cross my heart, I will not hold it against you. Again, if I really didn't like the suggestion, I would have said so to begin with... but there are few things that I feel that strongly about.

A. That's okay. (in regard to a perceived offense)
B. When accompanied by a pleasant though puzzled look, it means I'm simply surprised you thought what you did was offensive. An emotionless response means I noticed but was hoping we could let it slide without drawing attention to it. (like, "accidental boob graze!") That may or may not have bothered me in the moment, but it will pass. With a hearty laugh, it means "I'm glad you see the humor in that too!" With a "hhh" and a *shakes head*, it means "I knew that unneeded apology was coming. :) You're silly."

A. That's okay. ... Actually, can we talk about that?
B. If it's ever NOT okay when I say it is, you can rest assured that I'll either get over it later (because even in the moment, I realize it's not a big deal) or that I'll ask about it later when I've formulated my not-okayness into a question that I hope will become a conversation where my concerns are expressed and my misunderstandings adressed. It is my sincere intent, even if I don't always hold to it, not to bring up past offense once it's been okayed. When I do, it's in the context of that "talk about it later" period. This might come across as me trying to gang up on you for something you DID to me at some point, but what I'm really trying to do is figure out what YOU were really getting at, what prompted your words... I'm trying to say that I don't understand you and I want your help in that regard. I believe you didn't mean what I heard... so tell me what you meant.

A. Here, let me pet you. *pet pet pet*
B. I'm giggling because your foul up was funny, but I'm sympathizing because I do that all the time too. Don't be embarrassed. I'll touch you in a non-threatening way to reconnect and reaffirm you and also lighten the mood and change the subject. Also, yes, I'm being silly. But you know you think I'm cute. :3

A. Did you/Will you read my latest blog entry?
B. I'd like feedback! I want to know if it's poorly written or if my logic doesn't hold up or if I make it sound like I am in rebellion. I want to know if you have a different approach that I didn't seem to consider. Am I crazy??? Is that completely disjointed, irrelevent, and otherwise hard to read? Did I just write a load of bs?
B. Also, sometimes I mean that something about it was written regarding you or a conversation we recently had... or are currently having.

A. I'm okay.
B. ... there is no "right answer" for this one. Sorry. I do try to be consistent with my body language though; for example, if I feel pretty lousy but I know I shouldn't complain, it looks and sounds that way every time that that's my answer. So THAT response looks and sounds nothing like a casual "It was a good day. Nothing to report." I try not to say I'm okay if I really don't feel okay at all; or else I make it PAINFULLY obvious that I'm lying... you asked and I didn't want to give you the silent treatment but I want you to forget you asked.

A. I'm sad.
B. I'm feeling really, really, really bad emotionally. Something feels very wrong with Jessica's world.

A. I'm depressed.
B. Clinically. Do you have any drugs?

A. I just don't feel very well.
B. I don't get sick very often. I'll leave the rest to you to figure out. x_x
B. I confess, this can also be my excuse for not wanting to go out in public. In this case, I'd more often use "I'm tired." Maybe I'm feeling anti-social. Maybe the thought of hanging out with you makes me feel unwell. Maybe I was feeling fine until a second ago when you suggested we go something with a bunch of noisy people - now I can barely keep my eyes open. Regardless, you can trust that I'm going home to take some personal time. Whatever other half-truths I might slip into, I WILL NOT use this sort of line as an excuse to go do something with someone else. igh.

A. Will you do me a favor?
B. This is something I legitimately cannot do, at least not without a great deal of difficulty, by myself. Or else it is so obviously easier for you to do that it would be arrogant not to ask. If I need the remote, I stand up and walk towards it, telling you that I need it with just enough time for you to pick it up and hand it to me, to save us the embarrassment of me reaching over you. I would ask for help if you're standing right there and you can reach some item that I'd need to go fetch a stool for. Or if I'm busy doing something at the moment and since you're not busy, would you help? Good gosh man, I cannot stand it when people ask for favors for no reason other than that they're too lazy to get up and do it themselves. Especially when it's a girl with her man. *blood boils*

I guess... it's important to me that my friends not feel like I'm crouching, ready to pounce with something I had been hiding away for hours or months. There's no way of looking at that as being supportive of trust between two people. Maybe my body language and facial expressions aren't always as revealing as I take them for... and this would be unfortunate, because finding the right words at the right moment is a weak point of mine. There really isn't much that "gets to me" though.

So... did you read this blog? Do you know me well enough to go, "Jessica, seriously? You do not come across this way at ALL." Cuz if that's so, I'd rather hear it than be confused later.

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