Thursday, November 29, 2007

Friends don't let friends watch movies.

Well, okay, that's not true. August Rush, for example, was a musical and visual masterpiece and is going on my list of soundtracks I need to get.

On the other hand, though.

I saw Click the other night. I'm not a big fan of the Adam Sandler genre, generally, but this one wasn't too bad as far as that goes. I actually enjoyed it and thought had an interesting message... but one that hit badly during this season for me. A message that unfortunately went right along with some other things that I've been absorbing from various sources lately. That of the relentless marching of time. *cue ominous dun dun duuuun*

To put it simply, Click is a classic story (or at least, I've certainly heard it before, only then I think the guy was pulling on a piece of string...?) of how we might wish parts of our lives to be skipped or skipped ahead TO, but if we actually had that ability, we'd realize only in the end how much we missed out on. I also read the online daily articles from Psychology Today and most recently they've been talking about men and how, once past 35, they're increasingly responsible for mental defects in their children because the genetic code they pass on starts to "break down." And then there's the issue of The Farm, where I spent many long weekends growing up. It's not an incredibly exciting place, but it's kind of a big deal to me - I wanted to take my love there one day, y'know, at least once... but the family probably won't be holding on to it much longer. Etc. Etc.

I'm envious of the couples I hear about who got married when they were 17, 20, 22, 25.... But then I hear about the couples who didn't get married till they were 27, 30, 32... that disgruntles me too because I ache to think I'd have to be without *him* that much longer.

This not knowing gets in my bones and eats away at me. Part of me wishes I could push Fast Forward just for a peek to see where I end up... part of me wants *him* (or really, Him) to push his Fast Forward so we don't miss out on any more time we could spend together. This business of loving and being loved and figuring out how to live life with another person more intimately involved than ever before and finding out how it really is a delightful thing and learning how to navigate the non-delightful parts... I want to experience it for myself. It's going to be hard and I want to get started!

It's the same, sad old story as always. I thought I was doing better though; that's what bothers me the most. I don't know where this dissatisfaction is coming from, all of a sudden.

This has been "Heart to Heart" with Jessi. :-D

1 comment:

nic pfost said...

thanks, jessica, for your honesty.