Do you ever get it? The itch to leave? Just up and move somewhere new, no matter how irrational? Frankly, I think it's a big factor into why I love parks and road trips so much - it's a quick escape from the normal without having to fill out change of address forms.
But the thing is, I'm TOO rational. Wait, well... when it comes to this, anyway. ;-)
"I love this man/friend/neighborhood/geographical feature so much. I'm grown. Why don't I just go?" I'm sure it happens. But when the wanderbug bites me, my first thought is, So you move. Then what? You might fall out of your love's good graces. Suddenly you're ten minutes away from your friend and you're spending even less time together because there's no urgency to "treasure what time we have!" You get tired of the scenery, no matter how great it seemed before.
On the other hand, I think there are times when God puts an itch in us to do "x" and it's too easy for someone like me to write it off as being bored or trying to escape something... or trying to run TO something. How many opportunities have I lost because I thought their pursuit would indicate hateful discontent with a perfectly fine set up? Because I was afraid that chasing a dream was idolatrous?
I've been bitten. Hard. I tried to think, "Well, this is the longest I've lived in one place since before college; am I bored?" "Am I just irritated?" "I don't know many people there, but if even they left, would I be okay?" "I've always liked Columbia. Why should I want out now?" But none of these questions have answers that are holding me back.
Pamela advised that I was right in thinking that with a change this big (the school, massage, etc.) my feelings are legitimate - that I need a fresh start in a new place where I won't feel tied to the stuck-in-a-rut old ways of living. Of course, this is the same woman who thinks manipulation is perfectly acceptable and even necessary in your dearest relationships... so I'm not sure how much I trust her judgment. ;-)
So I'll be in Greenville this weekend staying with some ladies from Sovereign Grace Church, where I'll be attending if I move. I'm going to sit in on the singles' care group Friday night and attend the weekly service on Sunday... and on Saturday, I'm going to check out Greenville Tech's Art program.
Pray for me. I'm scared out of my mind.