Wednesday, November 21, 2007

"She's gone."

"No! Don't you say that!"
"She's gone! ... She's gone."

[if you haven't seen the sequel to XMen and plan to, you may not want to read this post for the sake of spoilers]

I was talking with a friend recently about how absurd it is for a single girl to expect a knight in shining armor who will be everything she ever wanted and will love her always and forever happily ever after. It's a bunch of bs and I wish fairy tales didn't have that effect on us when we were little girls. Life is real, it's crappy, things don't turn out the way they should, people get angry.

But I watched X2 last night and it tugged at my heart strings in a way that most movies usually don't. There's something too real in Cyclops's reaction to losing Jean. It's not that they had a perfect relationship or that he was so proud that he didn't let it get to him visibly. Normally, he is a pretty stoic, solid character. But when it comes to his love, he runs after her. He pleads with her. He falls apart when she disappears.

I've noticed that when I hear bad news - that a loved one has died or other tragedy has occurred - it takes a good long while to sink in before the tears start. It's when you start facing memories of the person with whom you'll never make another memory that it really starts to hurt. But it wasn't that way for Scott - he's connected to her. They are one. She is such a part of his life that she is missed immediately when she's not there. That's not something you get from a superficial relationship, a fling, a one night stand.

It's too much to expect my man to be home at 5:30 every night, remember every detail and date, have straight white teeth and perfect hair, play an instrument, and hold a respectable business job for 40 years. The men we love and adore are not the Prince Charmings from Disney films. They're real and life happens. But this? Would I be a fool to dream of a man who can (usually) hold himself together under adversity that we face as one, but who will love me with such a passion that losing me would cause him to weep? Not just because I'm someone he'll miss making memories with, but because he'd do anything for me... and he can't save me from this?

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