it's time for a change of scenery.
The cross is always there, Christ never changes, but we tend to put things in between us and Him such that we see those things of the world as bigger than we ought.
God made us to feel pain so that, if for no other reason, we know when something is wrong with our bodies (or minds). If you didn't feel the heat of a stove, you could burn through your hand, rendering it useless. If I didn't feel this pain in my wrist, I'd probably be using it as I always have and may have done even more damage to it by now, losing my ability ever to use it at all.
But what then? Yes, there is pain. There will always be pain. And war. And sin, in this God-forsaking world. So do I whine, pity myself, and medicate? Yes. Yes I do. But while medication is good and a blessing to a point, I'm missing something essential. I'm not seeing how the pain is itself a blessing - it shows me how I am dependent on self and SHOULD be gratefully reminded that it is God who heals, it is He who sustains, He who knows all and deserves praise for every circumstance.
I want to see the place I find myself each day as a gift. Not "life is a gift!" or other such that makes you think you're responsible for finding good things in your dreary life to hope in, but that the "good" and the "dreary" are orchestrated by and gifts from God, because He knows we need them at that moment. Because we can put our hope in Him.
I prefer to be tougher than that. Pardon, I prefer to ACT tougher than that.
Thanks again to the friends who have struggled with these trials and ideas before I have and been a Godly example of how to react.
This post has been brought to you with a bag of frozen peas on my wrist. w00t.